I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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