so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
