Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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