like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
