therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
