The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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