SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
