i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
