there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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