do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
