it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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