I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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