i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
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