just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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