Your dad touched me again.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
