Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
