As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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