It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
