i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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