Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
