Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
