Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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