I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
