i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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