Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
