I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
