Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
