Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
