I can tuck mytits in my pants
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
