Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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