hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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