ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
