he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
