What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
