I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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