apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
