And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
