my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
