How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
