We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you will always have a special place in my vag
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
