You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
