stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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