Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
