This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
