he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
