you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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