by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
