CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
