Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Oh god it's open bar.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
