Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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